Of Wild and Horny Cows


"A cow walks into Barneys and…"

Somehow the words ‘cow’ and ‘Barneys’ don’t exactly lead to the image of a body oil in my mind. Or, a joke for that matter. But, for someone wanting to splurge on a luxury oil without the exorbitant price tag you think you’ll have to pooh-pooh at, you’ll have to put Britain’s hip yet reasonably priced brand Cowshed on your want list.

You may never have heard of excruciatingly cute Cowshed, but, it might surprise some readers to know the England-based line is quite the marvel in name and function. The standout scented oils are made with fairly traded plant extracts and therapeutic botanicals - each named with a cool touch of kitsch – and has quickly become the organic beacon for those who value products free from nasty parabens, preservatives, sulfates, and artificial fragrances and colours.

Lemongrass lovers will want to point n’ click on the charming Wild Cow Invigorating Bath & Body Oil ($31); a refreshing blend which is big on the vigorous inundation of Lemongrass accented with spicy Ginger and a smidgen of Rosemary. The trio persistently work up the senses radiating a mild, herby tartness enhancing the revitalizing effect of the oil. Sniff deep behind the base of Grapeseed, Hemp, and Cranberry Seed oils for a hint of Calendula if you can.

The choice of oils is fantastic; Cranberry offers skin richness by way of Vitamins A, C, E, K and helps skin absorb the fatty acids from the other carriers like Sweet Almond and Sesame keeping up skin’s natural levels of hydration. And, the lightweight Grapeseed is always a good choice for sensitive, acne-prone, or just finicky skin types seeking a quick, greaseless slather.

The same set of moisture-loving oils are also found in my personal fave, Horny Cow. Ooh la la, does this inspire you to get a bit frisky with of all things…Cinnamon. It turns out a study at the Chicago-based Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation had shown Cinnamon to be the sexiest gourmand scent. My Horny Cow (I never thought I'd ever type these two words) registers with an oriental lushness from a velvety Rose and the sweetness of Cinnamon while the delicate touch of Patchouli transforms their mingle into something more striking and seductive. Composed and compelling up close, there’s a perfumey richness that comes from the all-natural essences. It smells refined, alluring and expensive and imparts a rather elegant aura. A must-try for those who love Patchouli-tinged florals.

The oils dry quickly leaving skin super soft and ready for the day’s dressing in a flash. But the best selling point is that you can actually splurge on two for what you’d think you’d spend for one from shopping at the fashion cognoscenti’s one stop shop - the ever so cool Barneys.

I always seem to trust the good Brits when it comes to moisture. If anyone’s skin understands the need for a moisture boost, it’s the frosty pale skin friends of ours across the pond who know how to beat the freeze and dryness that accompanies it. If Cowshed works for them, the oils will work wonders for us.

Now, about that Horny Cow joke…anyone got good one?

Price: $$
Scent Classification: Varied
Viscosity: Ultralight Viscosity